1. A Mumbai merchant spurns your best offer. A maitre d' snubs you in Beirut.

2. As a maitre d' in Nairobi, he had annoyed her such that she had taken to avoiding his restaurant.

3. Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.

4. At many fine-dining restaurants, customers with reservations frequently are made to wait for tables and must slip the maitre d' a $20 bill to avoid being seated in Siberia.

5. "Young man, we're both 90 years old, " he told the maitre d'. "We may not have 45 minutes. " They were seated immediately.

6. Larger males are more likely to win fights, are more dominant, have clout with the Ivy's maitre d', make eye contact with bar staff at crucial moments, and, crucially, are more likely to reproduce.

7. Ron Jeremy: Like many Jewish boys, I was working up in the Catskills, as a waiter and the maitre d' at the Paramount Hotel.

8. Imagine you go to a restaurant with your partner, where you are met by the maitre d' and sat down, brought your menus, given the wine list and so on.