1. I don't have a hard-on. Too damn tired.

2. "Jingle bell -" 40-minute hard-on can be finished.

3. I have a pee hard-on and if I try to take a leak standing up, I'll end up hosing the whole can.

4. Peering over the rim of his paunch, he could see a hard-on.

5. Does your husband like your tits only, DIB, or can he get a hard-on for every tits-wearing woman who goes by?

6. People "talk about philosophy and liberty only because they can't get a hard-on" is the popular view.

7. Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on... for half an hour. FML.

8. Would you like to hook me up to some wires and machines and have me watch both gay and straight porn to see that both will increase my heart rate and give me a hard-on?

9. This tissue plays a minor role in erections, since a hard-on is due mostly to the two sandwiched strips of corpora cavernosa, which comprise the bulk of the shaft.